As a mom, a woman and a human I often pick up more than I really need to. Can I get an AMEN??
Matthew 11:28 says "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." (In other words, park that wheelbarrow for a second.)
This morning, as one of my boys headed out the door late for school, I felt heavy. I felt irritated. I felt angry and I felt all those things towards MYSELF! I heard a voice inside me quickly tell me that I was slipping. The same voice told me I was losing control of my family. Things were going to fall apart. Life was going to become unmanageable.
Now let me backtrack for a minute. I wake the boys up at the same time every morning. They have the same expectations to follow. It is not rocket science. The youngest today decided he needed to sit in his corner and play his IPad instead of getting ready for school. Now, as a mom to five, I'll admit I often go to autopilot mode and tend to function as a robot checking off things that need to be done each morning just to GET THEM OUT THE DOOR. I often forget to scream (I mean ask nicely) if everyone is staying on track. This morning, I let a little too much time pass before checking in and the window of grace had passed. The little booger (almost TEN) was still in his pajamas, bed unmade, teeth and hair unbrushed, looking at me like I was an alien with a new request to make it downstairs on time.
Instead of putting it on him, where it belonged, I turned his choices into my bad parenting and that's just dumb don't you think? I mean it's one thing if today's requests were new; if this morning was simply a trial run. Ya'll, it has been the same routine for nearly five years. He needs to know it by now.
My point here is simple. Be KIND to yourself and don't pick up the stuff that's not yours. If he's late for school, he misses a part of recess. NOT my problem. If my twins don't work on their school project and they get an F, they lose after school friend time. I can't be on everyones journey with them. I can guide them, expect certain things, and give them the tools to accomplish what they need to, but their ultimate choices will lead to their own natural consequences and if I try to carry and manage all of that, this mamma, woman, wife, is gonna fall flat on her face every day.
I was quick to realize the voice that tried to shame me and my efforts this morning and was also quick to put the "blame" back on the offender.
Own it if it's yours. Work on it, redeem it, find the grace. Don't pick it up when it's not your load.
I believe God also equips us with what we need to know. He loves us, teaches us and gently nudges us in the right direction but that free will thing often leads us into places we probably wish we had avoided. Like God does to us, I will still love my running late, IPad playing son and I will continue to remind him often of what will make his life easier but I can't force it upon him. I can stand back, watch him learn, and love him gracefully until he starts to see it, get it and own it. I won't take his choices on as my own. I can't carry all of that.
Lay it down, park it. Love yourself and know you are doing the best you can.