When my daughters were little, we watched The Princess Diaries at least a gazillion times. I remember hearing the above quote the very first time we watched it, and it has stayed with me over a decade and a half later!
What about FEAR? Do you want to run away from it? Do you want to ignore it? Have you been told if you have fear you aren't a Christian? Do you feel bad for feeling fear?
Let's unpack this a little bit. Some fear may be irrational but if anything this pandemic has taught us, a lot of it simply isn't. I am not telling you to go around and take on and accept all fears running around in your head. I am not suggesting you give those fears any more power than they deserve. I am telling you that it's okay. Fear is okay. I want to help you understand how to live with the fears that sneak up in your daily lives. I want to remind you of your tools to tackle those monsters as they arise instead of letting them take over; take control; grow bigger.
1) Acknowledge it. "Hello Fear" (of snakes, of death, of loss, of heights, etc.)
2) Sit with it for a bit. Set a timer. Accept it. Honor it.
3) Put your feet on the ground firmly. Feel where you are at this exact moment and ask yourself these things:
Am I currently in danger?
Is this an old wound arising up stirring up my current life or is it happening now?
How much time do I want to give this fear today? (hopefully your answer will be <30min)
Have I talked to God about this?
What can I do about it?
How I can go forward without the Fear dominating my life?
I will tell you some stories about my own fears and I hope you are able to find some humor, laughter, tears for a second if you feel 'em, and some hope!
I hate snakes and I don't mean just a little. Snakes actually terrify me to the bone chilling core. I decided to move to the Hill Country a year ago on land absolutely riddled with snakes of all kinds. Smart move. Days after we moved in and set up our home, I saw a coral snake cross my path in the BACKYARD (if you aren't familiar with these bad boys, go google them). Now, I know from growing up in the country that these slinky things have to gnaw on you a while to be dangerous, but that doesn't stop the freak out in my soul. I have two pups whom I worry about and I only let them outside to play and do their business when I am with them. My reality is that my fear is real and substantiated but I choose to live here anyway. I went online and ordered snake repellant granules as well as a dozen solar screechy siren things that go in the ground and emit bad vibes to the oncoming snakes. I felt better. My fear was real but I found a solution and I was able to move on! (Denial probably played a pretty big part in this process but I really felt like I solved something really big and that gave me peace. ) Um, this morning that same sneaky species of a snake crawled in my path again albeit 9 months later. My fear came back. The snake paraphernalia tools I used to manage my emotions no longer work and now I have to sit right here realizing that the snake got away and crawled into a hole and underneath our house and my husband blocked the entrance with a rock ?! We called a pest control company who promises us that they can control the snake problem and you know what, I choose to believe it because doing something, anything, brings me greater peace than fear.
Let's move on to a more "personal" topic; my oldest daughter. We fear for our kids the second we find out we are pregnant don't we? She has battled addiction for 9 years. I feared the worst, the hospital call that came 6 months ago. Luckily she survived but her battlefield is still large and her addiction is still loud and I live daily with the fear of yet another phone call. How on earth do you live with that sort of fear and yet still seek joy and peace? I pray, I worship, I sing, I help other woman and I set a timer to cry and grieve and it's a gut wrenching pain I can't describe. Somehow, HE gives me the desire to not let it paralyze me.
I lost my sister two months ago. I used to fear the end. I literally held her peaceful hand as she passed onto Jesus and it wasn't as scary as I thought. I have a bit more peace with the end than I did before. I still fear the end, but I have to live with that beautifully as we all do.
What is haunting you? What is holding you back? Are you willing to maybe give those fears a little less power in your life today?
How can I help you?
xoxo Coach Kim
(Alright, a lot of people are credited for this quote but I am going to go with Nelson Mandela).