Last week I had the super fun opportunity to quietly remain calm and still in an MRI tube. Oh boy, was that ever a challenge for someone with an overly active mindset. Let me start by adding that I am fine but that vertigo entered my life a few weeks ago and held on tight. I guess once you hit 50, you have to rule out some dark and scary things and I don't take that clean MRI result for granted. Thank you, Lord.
If you've experienced an MRI, you know how loud and overwhelming the noises can be despite the earplugs and earmuffs. I told my husband that I chose to check out, close my eyes and imagine God just chilling out with me having a conversation. Halfway through my calm, zen moment, four enormously loud knocks followed by four quiet ones kept repeating themselves over and over and over again. This went on for a minimum of five minutes. KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK knock knock knock knock. My heart started racing. My fears started to rise. I knew it would end but telling myself to remain calm until it did utilized every ounce of coping skills I had. As I often do, I tried to find some meaning in the situation. The super loud knocks coming from within the tube reminded me of all of the things I am forced to pay attention to; to address; to attempt to solve. These things are painful at times. The phone calls from school. The obligations I'd rather not keep. The to-do's that are waiting and important. KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK. My heart kept racing. I told God I had to keep answering. I had to keep focusing on the loud things vying for my attention. I had to keep solving issues from school calls to discipline. I heard Him ask me to answer the soft knocks for a while. The friends asking me for coffee; the dates with my husband; the walks with my dogs; the clients I love working with. I heard Him ask me to start focusing on the softer people and noises in my life and to let Him handle the loud ones. My heart slowed down a little at the thought of this even being an option. I simply said, "okay" and the knocking, at that moment, stopped. Seriously.
What are you listening to? What are you answering? What is taking the attention away from your path? What noises fill you with fear and angst and what "soft" fills you with Him and joy? Choose today which KNOCK knock to answer.
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