"Sure is a long way up here God but I wanted to get as close to you as I can." Does anyone remember this episode where little Laura climbed up a mountain to pray for a miracle for her brother? I don't know about you but lately I've been wanting to climb up as close to God as I can. I also feel a little bit like we are currently living like Little House on the Prairie right now. I mean think about it, really. Families are all under one roof. Days are filled with schooling, chores, finding ways to provide basic needs like food and essentials. Lots of praying and resting when it gets dark out and waking up when the sun rises.
I believe amidst the chaos that there's a ton of beauty and when this is (God willing) all over and done with, we are going to possibly look back on these times and miss certain elements of it and I am doing my best to remember that.
For me personally, my two daughters are learning to know one another again. As most of you know, my oldest (22) has struggled with drug addiction and the past 8 years has been anything but "normal" and my daughters grew super far apart. Since her accident in December, she's been home and healing and getting used to new friends, a new life and a new routine.. but like everyone else.. that is haulted now and I worry about her going backwards. My three step boys are in Denver with their mom and we now only see them virtually and that's an adjustment for sure.
My very social 20 year old daughter made the choice to move 9 hours home from Arkansas and to leave the few friends and roommates still there, behind. She's learning to be around her sister again, to honor their differences and to put up with isolation like we all are. But last night for the first time, I realized just how much I am trying to hold it together for all of them.. to be the positive and happy go lucky cheerleader when one is afraid of her weakened immune system from the accident, when one is terrified of how long she will be kept from her "life" and also afraid she is going to accidentally bring the virus to us from college, and a husband who is working non stop while he can to support us but whom also loses sleep afraid he will get sick. I wanted to reach out to someone, to text, to vent, to cry.. but I didn't want to be a burden on my friends who are also going through the same thing. Long story short.. I am offering the UNLIMITED "package" so that you can have that person I needed and we can all get through this in creative ways.
Laura Ingalls, I get you girl. I also know we don't need to climb a mountain for Him to hear us right now. He's right beside us. He's not angry. He hasn't forgotten us. He didn't bring this on all of us as a punishment or a curse. I want to be there for the real emotions, for those wanting to maybe be uspet with God right now. I want to be there for those that may not know how to pray, how to mourn, how to ask for help.
I am here. Keep looking up. xoxo Coach Kim
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